“Oh I ought to be ashamed a thousand times ashamed – but I am only a foolish fickle girl. I don’t see how you can love a girl like me.”
Lillie is a girl who can’t make up her mind. I imagine her holding a yellow daisy and slowly plucking off each petal. “I love him, I love him not. I love him, I love him not…”
I’m starting to get the feeling that she enjoys stringing him along. On one hand, she has already shared with us that she’s in love with someone else, and has explicitly said she doesn’t love George like he loves her. On the other hand, she continues to call him “sweetheart” and “dearest” and continues to write him regularly. Most surprising, she ends this letter stating that she is going to give Georgie “one more chance.”
Georgie is starting to catch up with Lillie and her games. This letter reveals that Georgie has been threatening to go out with other girls and even…”go to the limit” with another girl…*GASP* It seems to keep Lillie’s interest, as this clearly bothers her and even goes as far to say as she would marry him just to save him from a bad reputation. This whole situation is giving me a headache I can’t imagine what their parents thought.
We also learn that Lillie is currently staying with a Mrs. Stella Carlson. We don’t know who Stella is or how they are related (cousin, perhaps?). However; I was able to find the address on Google Maps and this house still exists today! It was built in 1902 and so it would have been only 17 years old at the time Lillie was living there.
I wonder if Lillie will change her mind after giving Georgie one more chance…?
October 7th – 1919
My Dear Sweetheart,
Dear I told you I would write last night, but Alice and her beau came out to Grandma’s after me and we didn’t get in until real late, so didn’t get to do as promised – But breaking promises seems to be a habit with me. Doesn’t it?
Listen Dear you said over the phone, that if I wanted to, we would call everything off, but Sweetheart, do you think you could give me up and then behave yourself afterward, you don’t know how I hate to think about you going and acting with other girls, like you said you would – and like you did that Sunday – when you went home and we came to Greely. Do you still think you would act that way if I thought you would act that way or go the limit with any girl, I wouldn’t give you up under any circumstance. I would marry, just to save you from that bad reputation. I would make myself love you, if I had to. For there isn’t another person on this green earth, I would hate to see go wrong, as I would you now I want you to tell me the truth, when you tell me.
Sweetheart you asked me if I missed you, why of course I missed you, Why shouldn’t I?
Yes Dear I will come home just as soon as I get my visit out, maybe sooner, I expect to come home Sat. or Sun. I wish your folks would come after me Sun. I am going to ask them to and you try to get them to, too, will you Dearest?
Sweetheart Boy I could turn you down when you write and act the way you do, oh why don’t I love you like you love me? I only wish I did or could, why can’t you find a girl to love you the way you love me. Sweetheart I don’t see how you can love me when I treat you the way I do, I don’t deserve Love like yours, honest I don’t. I’m not worthy of it and yet i can have it and don’t want to take it, Oh I ought to be ashamed a thousand times ashamed – but I am only a foolish fickle girl. I don’t see how you can love a girl like me.
Darling, I am coming home and give you one more chance, gladly, for the way you love me. I can’t help but love you. Honest, I love you. I am positively ashamed of myself.
Dearest, how is your leg? Mama said it was still sore. I want to take care of it and if it is still sore when I get home I can doctor it and get it healed up for I don’t want my Georgie Boy to have blood poison.
Sweetheart I am going to quit now and mail this and Remember I am coming back to you Darling and give you another chance.
I must close now with fond Love XXXX
I remain your own sweetheart and send my letters here.
Miss Lillie Jackson
1449 – 10th St. Greely, Colo.
Care of Mrs. Stella Carlson